Why I hate Bank Holidays

In the UK we get these wondrous special days off work each year, called ‘Bank Holidays’. 

The idea itself is great, you get a three day weekend to do whatever you want, however I personally am not a fan of them and here is why…

  1. If you work in retail, you probably wont get the day off and instead will spend the day being overworked and extremely jealous of the idea of a three day weekend and wounder if you will ever have such an experience which isn’t taken as paid/unpaid holiday, sadly though having one weekend off a month is rare in retail.
  2. If you need a doctors appointment or need to make important calls, chances are that they will be closed, meaning you have to wait three days before you can get anything sorted out.
  3. Bank Holidays always mean that every single pub, restaurant, beach and park is crowded to the brim and in the summer, it means most of them are topless, which is not the best sight to see.
  4. As people like to go away for a short trip away on bank holidays, it means that travelling is going to take twice as long and can mean stupidly long ques on the motor way.
  5. Bank Holiday Monday usually means that if a shop is open, then it will be Sunday opening hours and will shut by 4pm, this is stupidly annoying if you run out of milk etc.
  6. Fancy a takeout? Think again, you’ll be waiting a very long time for your takeout and in my experience, busy takeouts means a that the food is rushed and not as good quality and the last thing you want to do is to spend the day on the loo!

What are your least favorite things about Bank Holidays, I’d love to hear from you!

C xx

We are humans so lets start acting humane.

Our earth is a beautiful planet, full of adventure, love and life. 
Our lives are precious gifts in which we can use to experience our beautiful earth.

However we now live in a world full of hatred and abuse. We abuse our environment,  religion, love and ourselves. Yet we have no valid reason to do so.

When did we decide that pollution is more important than fresh blue skys.
When did we decided that trash is more important that meadows and beaches.
When did we decided that politics are more important than unity.
When did we decide material objects are more important that generosity.
When did we decide fashion is more important than personality.
When did we decide that weight is more important than the soul.
When did we decide that tests are more important than experience.
When did we decide that faith is more important than people.
When did we decide that opinion is more important than love.

We humans can make a change to be better, to be more loving and accepting.
No one deserves to be bullied, depressed, alone, polluted or murdered. So why do we let it happen?

Take a moment to get to know who you are, think what your flaws are and work on improving on them. Also think of your strengths and find a way to use them to do good.

We are humans so lets start acting humane.  

C xx

What is it like to live with both Anxiety and Depression

If you don’t know me then now is the time to tell you that I have suffered Anxiety and Depression for a many number of years now and I am very open to talking about my experiences over a variety of networks and social media, such as youtube, facebook and twitter. My main goal in life is to spread the word and raise awareness of mental health to destroy as much stigma and replace it with the support we all need.

So what is it like to live with Anxiety and Depression at the same time? After all they are the polar opposites. 

  • It’s making plans with your friends as you know you need to get out the house, but making excuses and cancelling because you really don’t want to leave the house.
  • It’s starting to type a message to someone you want to talk to, but deleting the message and hoping somehow they will contact you as you don’t want to annoy them.
  • It’s dialing a number for whatever reason and hanging up before anyone has the chance to answer.
  • It’s making a doctors appointment and either cancelling or not turning up because you feel as though you will be disappointed by the doctor.
  • It’s not knowing if your illness if real or in your head and having to decide if you should leave it or deal with the torture of getting checked out.
  •  It’s ordering things online so you don’t have to go outside, but getting someone else to answer the door because you hate strangers.
  • It’s getting excited to go out, but changing your outfit a million times and getting depressed because you think you will be judged.
  • It’s planning your life months in advance and telling yourself that you have time to get the confidence to do cool things, instead you count down the days finding reasons not to do what you planned.
  • It’s dieting to be healthier and then caving and eating junk food because you feel down.
  • It’s making a promise and instantly feeling bad as you know you will bail one way or another.
  • It’s starting a conversation with an old friend, then killing the conversation because you think they hate you.
  • It’s applying for jobs and then not attending interviews because the idea of actually getting the job and dealing with so many new things is terrifying.
  • It’s telling someone something, then repeating it 20 times because you aren’t sure they heard.
  • It’s going out for outside for one day and then not leaving bed for the next week because its exhausting to be around people.
  • It’s fighting between wanting to get better and avoiding being let down.

Anxiety makes you scared of anything from social situations, to finances, health and your future. 
Depression destroys your energy, enjoyment and motivation. 

Far too many people, like me, struggle with this day to day and we need to start acting to ensure the support is out there to help us live out lives more fully.

C xx

I got ugly? So What?!

Everyone says that your 20s are when you are the most attractive version of yourself, which is complete bullshit for me personally. 

I was a very unattractive child, however as soon as I hit puberty I feel confident to say that I got so much more attractive and I felt so sexy back then, even now I look back on photos and envy my younger self.

As mentioned in my ‘Makup does not define me‘ blog post as I got older I started to feel more confident in myself as I reached adulthood, that does not mean however that my natural self is attractive to makes me feel happy about the way I look.

The fact Is that I am very aware of my appearance as I am a very vain person, I notice every flaw and inch of fat on my body and I can say for a fact that I have got a lot more unattractive since my peak of attractiveness at about 17 years old. I also have noticed a lot less comments of ‘you look so pretty’ and a lot less people trying to flirt with me, which actually isn’t the worst thing (I hate being chatted up).

 

So yes, to summarize, I ‘got ugly’, woe is me.

But the question is, ‘Do I care?’ and the answer is NOPE, Why? because when you reach a mental level of maturity you realize that appearance is not important in life. You can still get married (I did) and have babies, you can still get a job, you can still move house, you can still travel the world and do whatever you damn well want.

I feel that worrying about looks should be a thing of the past because anyone who judges you for your looks can go bugger off back where they came from because you deserve so much better than that.

C xx

Growing up and growing apart..

Growing up is something inevitable. At some point or another we need to realise we are no longer kids or teenagers, we are adults and it’s time we recognise that.

When you are a teenager your only priority is your education, the rest of your world is pretty easy, yes there is the drama but you have a freedom to do what you want and spend so many endless nights laughing with your friends and making memories. 

When the Summer comes, every day starts and ends with you friends, you eating together, drink together, laugh together and grow together. 

Then the day comes when you have finished highschool and college, Adulthood. It seems innocent at first, one of your friends gets a job, then another and like a domino affect, yourself and your friends are all working and having such an unscheduled life that no one knows what they are doing. 

The days on end you all spent together become memories and your lucky if you can see them once a month or on special occasions. 

You’ll realise that as well as not seeing each other, you don’t talk as much. It’s not as if you have fallen out, you still adore eachother but you are drifting apart. 

Drifting apart from your school friends is a very normal part of adulthood. We all get caught up in our own lives, trying to survive and make a living. I admit I do get nostalgia and get upset and lonely thinking about all the friends I have lost over the years due to my and their busy life. 

And don’t forget about growing apart, you are at one level and maturity and they are at another. Maybe you are married with a baby and they are clubbing all the time. Maybe you fell out of love with your old interests and now don’t have as much in common as your old friends. It’s all very normal.

In conclusion? Growing up sucks but embrace it, go the extra mile and call an old friend, arrange a coffee date, or just go out into the world and make new friends, give those co-workers a chat and see if you bond! 

C xx

Makeup does not define me

I’ve been wearing makeup since I was around 14. 

What caused me to start wearing makeup? I was being bullied and honestly believed I was ugly, I started wearing powder and mascara to make myself more presentable and have a higher chance of alluring my crush. It didn’t work. 

By the time I turned 16 I was watching all sorts of makeup on YouTube and reading magazines to learn more about makeup, the styles and types. I started doing my eyebrows and eyeliner on top of my typical every day look. However at this point it gave me confidence and empowered me and I realised that make up should be used for the girl and not used to impress others. 

My makeup has gone through different styles, lipstick heavy, even shadow heavy and eyeliner heavy, depending on my mood and my outfit. 

Nowadays my makeup is done pretty much the same each time I do it, I do use every makeup product in existence but i feel that I have learnt what I like and what makes me feel pretty.

But I do not wear makeup everyday, most of the time you’ll catch me with bare skin, acne and all! I have learnt to feel confident in who I am and how I look, regardless of what others think, I’ll wear makeup when I want to and I will wear as much or as little as I feel nessacry. If I want to look extra when I got grocery shopping then I will, or if I want to walk round town bare faced then I am really happy to do so! 

The point is, regardless of what people say to you or the looks you get? Do you. Say full it and Wear the makeup you want, when you want or do the opposite, don’t feel like you need to wear makeup if you don’t want to! 

C xx

Stop telling kids they are fat!

I’ve been ‘fat’ or ‘overweight’ for as long as I can remember, I mean I have seen pictures from when I was a toddler and I was pretty thin, however at 7 years old I moved house and since then my weight has just piled on and on and on etc.. 
At first I never cared about my weight, I honestly didn’t see it as a problem, until I reached High School, I got called fat and obese by my family and school peers. Funny that isn’t it? There is something about reaching puberty in which people expect you to be ‘perfect‘ and honestly this is so wrong, at 14 I still wanted to play with dolls, I didn’t care how my hair was style, that I didn’t wear makeup and my weight didn’t bother me as I was still healthy, that was until people started pointing it out.
Which made me start to wear makeup and buy nicer and more fashionable clothes, but surely this makes me someone else as It’s not me that really wants the change.
My weight was a battle, I was made to feel that I wanted to be thin, but I really freaking liked food, I would pick a burger over a salad any-day because salad to me, tasted disgusting (this hasn’t changed).
At 16 I finally decided to lose the weight, I ran 20 mins a day and ate nothing but cous cous and ham sandwiches, I lost 2 stone in 6 months and suddenly people kept commenting on how nice I looked, though I wasn’t happy because all I wanted was a fucking cheesecake or pizza.
I managed to keep my weight around the same till i was 18, sort of gaining a bit and losing some, but i was smoking which meant I kept more off and I also ate a hella tonne of junk food, I should have got very fat at this point, I didn’t so it gave me the false idea that I could eat what I want.

Then at 18 my father passed away and in the first month I lost about 6 pounds, after that It just piled on and on until, 3 years later, I have gained 5 stone and I don’t know where that came from. I’ve not eaten terribly and nor have I been sedentary, Alas I still see my body today and it’s covered in stretchmarks and flab which is not what I wanted at 21 years old and It’s got to the point that I’m getting ill from it, so I’m now dieting and getting it under control. this time I am determined.

The difference between this diet and my last? That I actually want to lose weight and not so it pleases other peoples eyes but so I can be healthy and have better skin, anything to avoid going the the doctor over illnesses that can clearly be avoided.

Verdict? We should be taught about living a healthy lifestyle, not about losing weight to be an Instagram model. All you are doing by calling kids fat is giving them a life long battle with body dysmorphia. 

Where did all the compassion go?

I am someone who was raised to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, to listen and just generally be compassionate and understanding. 
But every-time I make my way out into this huge world (yes sometimes I do leave the house), I get hit in the face pretty hard by the lack of compassion and respect that people have for one another.
You can give people priority, move out of the way for them or help them on a bus, but chances are you wont get a thank you.
You can do a good deed but people just will expect that they were entitled to that, it’s so rewarding when people are grateful but most of the time its just a grunt, like what is that supposed to mean?
Luckily you are not forced to do good deads and have morals so you can easily avoid the disappointment of all of those rude strangers.
However the real struggle comes when this rude and un-compassionate nature comes from your teachers, family and health professionals. 
Teachers need to be understanding and supportive for their students to succeed, a student might lack motivation or might get depressed feeling like their hard work is worth nothing or that because they are quiet they aren’t getting the attention they need to build their confidence, they might slip in grades because they are too scared to ask for help.
Family may be your blood but it does not mean that you have to do all their bidding. Coming from a family with a parent who was mentally abusive and a brother who was physically abusive, I was defiantly taken for granted, I did all the chores and extra that I was told to do, but my brothers would refuse to do it and get away with it, if i said no then all hell would be let loose. I was physically and mentally bullied to be a slave and for what reward? I am not close to that brother anymore and I still feel no ounce of love for my mother for what she has put me through. Family needs to treat everyone as an equal and use their love to nurture and care. After all, you should be trying to have a family because you have love to give, not to get benefits or to get chores done.
The one that really gets my blood boiling however is Doctors and health professionals. I have some bad mental health issues and because they know this, I am not allowed to be sick or ill as they always assume it is all in my head. My mental health gets brought up before I even get to describe whats wrong with me and what I feel. I understand mental health can cause physical issues, but treat me like a real human and make sure it is not physical before you attack me for being crazy. The NHS needs to be better than this as it is so dangerous, I avoid going to doctors now and that may one day be fatal. Health care needs to be understanding and compassionate as everyone is different and we all have different brains, get to know us before assuming the worst of us.

What are your views?

C xx