Let’s talk about Vaginas

OK, so in my experience, half of us don’t batter an eyelid when vaginas and periods are mentioned, but the other half seem to freak out and think that it is the most disgusting thing in the world!
But we all know that us woman all have one and they are all different in terms of shapes and sizes and how it wants to work. Some of us have peach shaped vaginas and some of us have flower shapes and there are all kinds of others in between, just like some of us will have really small vaginas and others won’t. Obviously things can change this, such as childbirth and sex etc.  
This however is not the most important thing I want to talk about, I wan’t to talk about that time of the month, or for some, that thing that should come every month but likes to appear whenever it can be bothered. 

I started my period at 12 years old, 4 years after developing my boobies (try being an 8 year old wearing a bra, urgh!). My periods were always 3 days long and pretty frequent and on time. When I was 15 I was with a long term partner and we decided that I should go on the pill as we didn’t want to trust condoms, we had already had a scare and something that looked  like a miscarriage. It was such a scary experience but I had my lovely friend with me who was older and tonne more wiser than teen brain me.
I was on this pill for a good few months and very quickly I noticed changes, my periods got so very painful and we put it down to the fact that my mum had painful periods as a teen too. However I would have to take days off school because I couldn’t even make the 10 minuet journey to catch the bus without keeling over in pain, luckily the pains only lasted a day or so. My dad helped me find tablets and things to ease the pain but nothing really worked.
When I was 16 I was diagnosed with ‘Factor 5 Liden’, following my mum having a stroke in her early 40s, It turns out that the combined pill that I was on, was very very dangerous to me and could have killed me by causing clots. So I changed pills, I tried every single one, some made me discharge so much that I couldn’t have sex without lying in a pool of who knows what (not sexy) and some I just forgot to take. So by the time that relationship had ended and I had met my next long term boyfriend, I had decided to go on the implant.
The implant is kind of like a bobby pin that they inject into your arm, it looks huge and I am sure you would have been handed a wired faux skin thing to feel what it would be like in your arm. Honestly It did not hurt one bit and left no mark or blood, so for 3 years I got to be protected against pregnancy (the chances of conceiving on this are very very slim) and I spent a lot of that time fiddling with my implant and making people touch it as I found it very entertaining that I could feel something weird in my left upper arm.
Alas, last summer I had my implant taken out as it needed to be replaced, so I had it removed and it was like a blood bath, the woman messed up a little and got blood everywhere although it was a small cut, and it did feel weird taking it out, she stuck some sticky strips on my tiny wound and it never closed up, though that might be because I peeled them off after a few days because I fiddle a lot and anything that I can peel, I will peel (which is why my nail polish only lasts a day). FYI the implant didn’t cause me any issues but it sure did not stop my periods or the pain!
Then the conversation came to what I would chose next as a contraception, I didn’t want another implant is as I could not go through removing it again, so I went for the depo. It’s a little injection into your lower back that will last 3 months, unfortunately 2 months in me and my husband decided we wanted a baby, we knew that the depo takes months to wear off an boy did it cause havoc with my periods.

SO consider that my periods were 28 days and regular before the injection.
In September (first month without contraception), my cycle was 45 days.
In October my cycle was 32 days.
in November my cycle was 50 days, as I was in-fact pregnant, but had miscarried.

Since my miscarriage my cycle varies from 30 – 34 days and lasts 8 days on average. Which is really fucking shitty when you want to have a baby or find out when you are ovulating.

The point of this post? Mostly because I have had tender boobs and twinges in my tummy and back pain for a week now and I am vary aware it could be pregnancy but I honestly think that my vagina is a dick and is just giving me super long PMS. So i’m just a bit of a emotional wreck, I spent yesterday crying and signing out my feelings (i’m not even upset).

So what are your experiences with periods and contraception?

c xx


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