How do you know?

Good evening everyone! I hope you all are well!

Today I wanted to talk to you about making decisions.
How do you know when you have made the right choice and how do you even know how to decide?

I’ve had a stressful few months as I left my job in November, meaning money has got super tight and Harry is barely earning a fraction of what we need to survive. Ultimately it means that I need to go and get a job, but this is the issue, I went through so much shit in my last job that I am scared to get a new one and yes it sounds like a copout. I just don’t know how to explain how bad my anxiety is right now, I can barely take a phone call or go outside and every time I got to a doctor they treat me like shit as they don’t try to listen.
I know that I need to go to and change my Surgery and see a new GP so I can get help and then get a job.
But what do I do in the mean time? how do I earn money? do I risk going on job seekers or is it not worth it?
I don’t even know if I could handle a job at the moment, I get panic attacks when I get interview offers.

I hope I am not the only one in the world who has had this issue.

Any advice?



A blast from the past

Todays post is about time and the way we change.

Yesterday I went to see my favorite band, All Time Low, I have been a huge fan for about 10 years now and it was on my bucket list to see them live (they were awesome live btw), so for my birthday last year I begged my husband to take me. It was the best present I have ever received but it also got me thinking.

As I was standing in the que, waiting for the doors to open, I felt like I was looking back on my past, there were so many young girls with their dyed hair, back skinny jeans and band shirts, I supposed I couldn’t help but giggle, I was almost shocked to be reminded that once upon a time, I looked like that and probably had the same thinking, that I had to see this gig or it would be the end of the world, that I had to look pretty in case I met the band etc.

The thing is, I remember feeling all of this and being this person, like it was yesterday, but it was in-fact 8 years ago, which is completely crazy to me as I have no idea where the time went and how I have managed to change so much as a person without realizing.

It’s not just my appearance that has changed, I mean I have changed my wardrobe from being full of clothes that were far too sexy for my age group, to more comfortable and convenient items, I really don’t care about my appearance as much as I did back then. But its also the priorities in my life, the things that once bothered me, really don’t anymore and I think that I am far more understanding and patient than I was back then. I don’t overreact as much and I can have learnt to study both sides of a story before jumping to conclusions. Not to mention that my goals in life have changed, it’s no longer about getting Alex Gaskarth to fall in love with me and more about fulfilling my life with awesome memories and experiences that I can pass onto my future children as bedtime stories.

I guess the point of this post is the exact same thing that your parents have been telling you. “Don’t wish your life away”, because dammit they are right, in a blink of an eye you will be in your 30s and you don’t want to waste that time wanting to be someone else.

Own the moment and live in it.

C xx

Family, wrong vs right?

Family is a funny thing. 

Recently I’ve stumbled into a bit of family drama, which always sucks because it’s hard to know what to do. 

You love your family but sometimes you need to tell them that they aren’t being a good person and taking a stand against your family is a very terrifying thing to do, It’s like you turn into that naughty 8 year old who’s being told off again.

You may or may not know that my dad died 3 years ago, this event has caused a chain reaction of shitty situations, I don’t blame my dad, I just think grief makes us act in wierd ways. 

My issue is that I am a stubborn person, I am very set in my ways and have strong morals and see the world a certain way, in the sense I want the world to be a nice place and I get angry when people make it a bad place. Sadly sometimes it’s my family that makes my life bad and then I have and choice, do I take a stand and risk an fight or do I let it continue and let them off because they are my blood? 

How do you deal with family feuds? 

C xx